When You're Gone
by NicoleBelikovOzera
Summary: Set 10 years after COG. A one shot of Clary after Jace is killed and how she copes AN: Jace does make an appearence and there is a nice surprise!


**When you're gone**

**This story is a one shot set 10 years after COG.**

**Clary's POV**

I lay in our bed alone with the bedroom door locked, completely shutting out the rest of the world and the people in it.

My long red hair was matted and untidy, a result of going days without washing it or even bothering to drag a hairbrush through it but I didn't care.

I shifted in the bed to loosen some of the joints in my body that had become stiff from lying still for so long. I rolled over turning so that I was facing the window forgetting for a second what I would find. My eyes must have been too used to it however because they instantly found and fell upon the picture on the bedside cabinet.

Tears instantly welled up in my eyes as I looked upon this picture. It was a picture of Jace and I taken a few years ago and it was probably one of the only pictures of him that had captured the true Jace. He smiled looking down at me and in it he looked truly happy and at peace.

It was the picture from our wedding day.

I took myself back to that day remembering the happiest day of my life.

Some people had thought we were too young but we didn't care. I think Jace had scoffed at them and told them something like 'Well if you rather we showed your how we show our love in another way then we could start to strip off right here' I'd hit him the arm blushing but Jace just smirked winking at me and I melted grinning back looking at the look of shock on the pessimists faces.

I remembered walking up the aisle leaning on Luke's arm for support because I was shaking from nerves and then I saw him standing there in his suit. His blond wavy hair fell in his face slightly but he didn't seem to notice because he was staring straight at me, a look of wonder on his face that made me want to turn around and see what he was looking at; that was until I realised it was me.

As Luke placed my hand in Jace's at the altar I could truly see the angel in him. It was in that moment that I realised I would never love anyone as much as I loved this man standing right next to me.

I was brought back to the present day as I felt the tears start to fall down my face in the familiar patterns they had made on my cheeks. I traced the runes on my arm and collarbone, the runes that Jace had traced on my skin with his stele on our wedding day that symbolised our love and commitment for each other.

I rolled back over, turning away from the picture and buried myself in the pillow of Jace's side of the bed; taking comfort in the faint smell of his aftershave and soap that still lingered in the fabric. This was the reason I was lying here wearing his clothes. A long sleeved black shirt that was so big it covered even my hands and my mid thighs and a pair of Jace's boxer shorts; they smelt like him and made me feel just that little bit closer to him.

I must have fallen asleep crying because I awoke with a start at the sound of a faint knocking at the door.

'Clary' Simon called. 'Clary...come on. It's been three days now and we're getting really worried about you. Could you just come out?'

I froze hearing the voice of my best friend. I felt bad that he was upset seeing me in this state but what did he expect. I couldn't get over this not even for Simon. There was only one person that could get me to get out of this room and get back to normal but that person was the reason I was in here in the first place; and that person was gone.

It had just been one of our regular jaunts. We had been down at the Pandemonium Club, Jace and I, and Isabelle and Alec. We had heard whisper of some new demon activity that had been traced here to the club where I had first met Jace and decided we'd take the job and revisit our old haunt.

Trying to blend in as regular humans we had made our way on the dance floor. I remember laughing with Isabelle at how Alec just stood there with his drink politely declining the invitations to dance by young teenage girls telling them his boyfriend wouldn't be happy and then being pulled away by Jace to dance with him, looking at him smoulder at me pulling me close and me reaching up on my toes to close the distance between us and meet my lips with his.

'I love you Clary Lightwood, more than my own life' he had whispered against my lips.

I smiled back crushing myself too him 'Ditto' I replied and laughed earning a big wide grin from Jace.

After dancing so close we couldn't tell whose sweat was whose we were broken apart by Alec who had spotted the demon we were hunting heading into the back room with a human girl. I was starkly reminded of how similar the hunt was to the first one I ever witnessed.

We followed Isabelle and Alec across the dance floor heading for the back room holding hands. Jace leaned down to whisper something in my ear but I never heard what it was because that was when another demon we hadn't anticipated dropped from the roof and stuck the knife into Jace's back.

After that it was a blur. I vaguely remember what happened next apart from falling down next to Jace as his legs gave way from beneath him. He looked shocked more than scared as if he couldn't believe that he had been taken by surprise like that. I too couldn't comprehend how Jace wasn't fast enough; he had always been fast enough.

I cradled him in my arms as Alec joined us panic stricken. I could see in his face the pain and hurt.

'Jace don't you close your eyes' he shouted. 'I will not lose another brother' I could see his eyes glisten but I didn't understand why. At the time I didn't even think about Jace dying it just wasn't possible; he was too strong.

But that's what happened. Jace died lying in my arms, he was gone just like that. He'd always joked about how he wouldn't live to see the day wrinkles would ruin his near perfect looks, I thought fondly of his crooked tooth and how it was his wish to go in battle, but this was too soon and I wasn't ready for him to go; wasn't ready for him to leave me.

I refused to let go of Jace as people started to mill around. I had clung to him and threatened anyone who dared try to take him away from me. Eventually Alec composed himself realising he needed to keep these people away from me before I did something very stupid.

Isabelle stood off to the side her whip trailing on the floor by her side. She had killed the demon that had killed Jace but was now just standing there frozen looking at the body of another of her brothers, looking at the body of my Jace.

I heard Simon sigh outside the door to my room. Simon, my mother and Luke and the rest of the Lightwoods had all been staying at mine and Jace's house since his death to comfort me so I wasn't alone, but I had refused to see any of them. Not leaving my room to eat and only leaving the bed to use the bathroom just off my room.

'Clary...he isn't coming back. There's no way to bring him back and I know it hurts but just think for a minute' He paused '...do you really think Jace would want you to wallow like this. He'd want you to move on'

I stayed silent until I heard his footsteps move off down the hall and then I closed my eyes.

Before I even realised what was happening the image had begun to take form in my mind. The swirls and lines came together to form a rune that had not yet been drawn. It was a rune of my own making, a rune from my angelic powers.

For the first time since Jace's death I started to feel alive. I knew deep within me, with my entire angel given powers that this rune was a rune that would let me see and hear Jace again. A rune that would bring him back to me.

Just this thought alone had me jumping out of the bed faster than I had ever moved before. It didn't matter that my body was screaming obscenities at me I ignored them and thought flippantly about how maybe I too might have gotten a little speed from my angel powers.

I pulled open the bedside drawer my hand knocking Jace's stele out of the way as I reached for my own that lay next to it.

I yanked up the sleeve of Jace's shirt and began hastily marking my skin, tracing the image from my mind onto the skin of my left arm, revelling in the burning feeling that told me the rune was taking form.

I recalled briefly the dangers Luke, my mother and the Lightwoods always went on about, about using unknown runes she had no idea about but I was hardly in the frame of mind right now to think about the dangers to myself and my own health and so I carried on marking my pale, porcelain skin.

The rune when finished looked like a half a star. I stared at it wonderingly waiting for something magical to happen but it stayed the same, faintly glowing on my arm. The smile from my face vanished and I dropped my arm to my side. I was so sure something was going to happen and that I was going to see Jace again only to have my hopes dashed. I should have listened to Simon; there was no way I was bringing Jace back and that hurt me.

I turned around dejectedly heading back to the bed where I felt slightly closer to him when my heart missed a beat and nearly stopped.

There arms folding behind his head on his side of the bed lay Jace.

I blinked once, then twice but he remained.

'Yes Clary, I'm here. You're not dreaming' He spoke smiling.

I moved over to the bed slowly not wanting to wake up and ruin this moment. Jace stood up as I got nearer and took that final step that put him right in front of me.

'Jace...' I managed to whisper, reaching up to touch his face. I jerked slightly as my hand met warm flesh and he leaned in to my touch so my hand was cupping his face. I gasped and choked back tears and then I was hugging him, pulling him as close to me as possible never wanting to let him go. I had my husband back.

My grip on him was tight but eventually he prised me off him and stood standing there looking at me.

'I missed you so much Jace'

'I know' he said looking at me sadly 'but Clary we need to talk!'

I froze hearing that, what would we need to talk about. I had him back and he was back with me, surely we could just spend tonight being happy with that.

'What about?' I asked warily.

Jace looked at me like he didn't want to say what he had to say next.

'Clary, I can't stay' he finally got out.

I stayed silent looking at him not believing what he was saying. Of course he could stay, I'd brought him back and he was here.

Jace watched me guessing what I was thinking like he'd done for the past ten years of our being together.

'I'm not meant to be on this side anymore Clary. I belong with the dead now and me being here would upset the balance. Remember when you brought back the shadow hunter in the silent city, it was wrong because he wasn't meant for this side anymore and you could see that then, you just can't now because your own feelings are clouding your judgement'

'But...' I stammered 'But your here now and your not in pain like that guy. That was because his body was damaged beyond repair, but I haven't reanimated your body; I've brought you back'

Jace looked torn. 'Clary, that's not what I mean...it doesn't feel – right for me to be here anymore!'

'You don't want to be here with me anymore' I asked hurt.

'No of course that's not it; I will always love you Clary and I'm waiting for you on the other side but you still have life left to live and I don't anymore'

I could feel tears welling up again and I struggled to hold them back.

'But I don't want to be alone'

Jace crossed over to me and pulled me into his embrace 'I am always by your side Clary, I always will be. Anytime you feel lonely or weak know that im probably standing beside you making some witty remark or whispering in your ear how much I love you. Max just got his big brother back' Jace smiled at this.

'He's been waiting on the other side for ten long years alone and now he has someone he knows and he needs me too; besides you're not alone...'

I looked up at him meeting his golden eyes with my own and brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes, just like I did when I met him at the altar one our wedding day.

'The others aren't the same. There not you...I need you'

'I wasn't on about the others' Jace grinned

'What do you mean then?' I asked confused.

In answer Jace moved his hand from my waist and left it to rest on my stomach. 'I think you know Clary'

I gasped shocked feeling a flutter in my stomach at Jace's touch.

'Make sure you tell him all about his Daddy' Jace laughed. 'Tell him its an occupational hazard of being my son that will result in him being admired by beautiful girls all the time and tell him his father couldn't help being good looking either.'

I laughed then listening to Jace in wonder talking about our child, a life inside of me I hadn't even been aware of.

'Tell him to enjoy the ladies but that when the right one comes along, preferably a redhead with the greenest eyes he could ever see, he'll know and when he does keep a hold of her because you may not always have as long with her as you'd imagine.'

Jace brought his lips back down to mine then. I savoured the feel of them warm on mine crushing mine into his and tasting him one last time.

'You know what you need to do now Clary!' Jace spoke against my mouth. 'I love you, don't ever forget that'

'Never' I replied. 'And I love you too. Thank you for everything, for letting me love you and loving me back; and for our baby, I will love it for the both of us'

I kissed him one last time and then knowing what needed to be done, I drew a line with my stele through the rune on my arm. It glowed brightly and smiling Jace glowed and slowly faded into nothingness.

Everything was going to be okay. I'd make it so and I'd live life to the full for me, for my baby and for Jace.

**Well that was just a one shot that came to me today. Sorry if there are any mistakes but I just literally wrote this up as it came and haven't proofed it.**

**Song in mind for this story – When you're Gone – Avril Lavigne**


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